Crap, is it me? Or is everyone enjoying highschool, BUT ME? It's kinda gay how I can't really enjoy my grade nine year because of trust and over protective issues. Sure, I go out every once in a while and make the best out of it, BUT LIKE? IS THAT REALLY ENOUGH? Like c'mon. Parent's need to let go of their child sooner or later, right? They need to let go of their 'liwwle bayyyyybeeeeeee' real soon. Lately, I've been getting so stressed because everyone's saying how they are enjoying their grade nine highschool year, but then when they come to ask me if I'm enjoying it, I'm left saying.. uh. sure. They ask me why and then I'm always left saying 'because my parents love me oh so much they are so over protective of me and they don't wanna see a scratch on me.' Basically what that means is that, they don't wanna see me hurt. I know. I know I'm still young and I have the rest of my life ahead of me, but like, really? Fuck this shit. I'm in highschool. I had more freedom when I was in elementary. Like fuck man. Its true what they say, people make mistakes, it's better to forgive than forget. I know they forgive me for the trillions of mistakes I've made in the past, but forgetting it? I don't think that's an option to them. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. I'm sorry I'm not your 'ideal' daughter. I'm sorry I'm not the best thing that's ever happened to you. I know I'm still young. I know that. But like, I'm growing up, and I need to live my life. How can I even live it to the fullest if my parents are calling me every second of the day wondering what I'm doing. Like literally, I can't even leave the house for more than an hour. That's the most I can leave my house. Like really. I need to grow up and live my life. One day, I'm gonna explode. One day, I'm gonna be the worst thing know in your life. You're gonna see me do something you don't want me to do. I would know for a fact. I need freedom. You need to forgive and regain trust again. Sorry I'm human and I make mistakes. But along with those mistakes, I learn. "Life is the worst teacher, it gives the test first, then the lesson. " I've been tested a lot in my life, with a lot of things. How much I love one, how much I'm willing to be patient for what I want, how to handle things in a proper way. But somehow, I've learned and I've gotten more matured. I can feel it. I know I'm young. I don't know how many times I've got to stress this. I'm young, but I'm a girl with a lot of experience. You wouldn't know. I don't express myself to many people, but the ones who I have, they know how I feel. And they know I have such a fucked up life. Well, not FUCKED up, but like.. it could be so much better.
I wish my parents knew how hard it is to walk around, stand strong, and speak truthfully when the worlds so cold and all I have is worn out shoes.

-xo, rd ♥