Do you ever feel like you never belong anywhere? Do you ever believe that you actually have no purpose in this crazy thing called life? Remember the times when you always felt love; when you fell on your ass and your friends/family were there to pick you up and say everything's gonna be okay. Remember the times when your parents would say I love you to you every night before you go to sleep or leave your house? Remember the times when life was easy. Remember the times when you knew everything was gonna be alright in time? I do. I always remember these things. Too bad my family doesn't. Too bad I don't think everything's gonna be alright anymore. I feel like, I'll be like this forever.
I know it seems weird blogging about family.. but you know what, it hurts. It hurts to think everyday that your family doesn't give a shit about you; your family doesn't love you; need you. It hurts to think that all your parents care about is your future, your education, and not how you feel.Wanna know how I feel?
I feel like shit. I feel so worthless around my family. I feel that my life will never be worth while. I think that life is .. a piece of shit. I feel like I can never do anything right anymore. I feel like I'm a fucking screw up in this family. No one in this family has ever gotten in much trouble as I did. No one in this family scream and yell at my parents to be heard. Truth is, I don't think they care about me. I think they don't love me. All they do is scream at me and say hurtful things all the time. I don't care. That's how I feel and honestly, nothing can ever change the way I feel about that.
I also think they are too overprotective of me. They don't care how I feel and that I'm a screw up and I'll never be able to be as perfect as my other siblings. I'm not gonna expose anymore.
But honestly, I feel like, crap. I feel useless and I won't succeed in life. I feel like I'm nothing to my parents and I am a prisoner in this house.
You know what though? I'm kinda okay. I got the people I love around me.. maybe not physically, but spiritually. I'd rather have them here spiritually than not here at all, true? I know they love me. If they are reading this, big ups to you. I love you guys. You guys helped me through everything. When I felt that love never existed, they were there to show me. Thanks guys. Big ups to Robbie, Joyce, Miguel, Juan and Rachelle M. ♥

Hands down, life is difficult, but with them, everything's fine.
-rd, xo ♥